As I was reading another post, I saw my Bella's name and reference to a post I wrote in July/Aug 2012 updating Bells condition. Like most of us that share our homes and hearts with our canine family I continue to go far and wide to find Bella all the Medical Aid I can come up with and afford. The afford part is real nasty. I have figured out I spend out of pocket far more than I spend on myself. That is because most of my health care is covered by Insurance and Medicare. Poor Bell has to rely on the varying degrees of my financial vagaries....
A lot has happened in our family since last summer. I fell and broke the ball off of my humerus and then fractured the ball into many pieces. A Catastrophic fall, my arm will never be the same. [crap] ! I will never get the arm/ hand up to my hair...so many things I will never be able to do again, it depresses me to write about it. So I'll stop.
Bella has developed full blown Wobblers Disease. In short her cervical neck is atrophying and the spinal cord is being pinched and the nerve damage is causing her to not be able to walk. She falls over a lot when she goes to walk and when she can no longer get up we will have to be put down. The ostrich that I am, I prefer not to think of that day and continue to find any and all medical, nutritional help I can find..
She still sees the Holistic Chiropractor and acupuncturist, we still take OUR Vitamins together [every vit. and supplement known to mankind..] ant-inflammatory, pain-killers, [she particularly likes all the gummy bear Vits] well... we both do, so I have to be careful we do not OD on them, and finally the new drug Cortisone. I have put this off until she started to fall over, but now is the time to bring on the big guns. I find she appears better in the last 5 days since we started the drug. She is less stiff and she walks better and she no longer drags her front leg. This is a major improvement. They will back her off to a maintenance level next week and she will just take one or two small doses per week. She has lost the feeling in her rear end, so poopies tend to fall out un-noticed. She would be very ashamed if she knew, so I say nothing and just make an extra effort to take her to the park when the weather clears. She is a girl that likes to do her business behind a bush or tree hidden from view. Ninety percent of the time she appears to be in no pain. I can tell from her eyes if she is in pain and then I give her Tramadol. It also is an anti-inflammatory and it gives her relief. So for the most part the disease is distressing, but not horribly painful. Until it is , we will soldier on day by day, an old woman and her dog.
Neither of us is a beauty Queen any more and both of us have our plate full as we head into the future. I sometimes measure our trek equally. She and I are about on the same age appropriate level and we both have serious disabilities. On bad days , when I look at her, I think; "would I like to be put down today?", "Do we have just a little bit more in us for another day?". I know there have been days when I have just about had my fill, but the alternative is un acceptable. When she looks at me on her bad days, I have yet to see in her eyes the plea for relief. I do not like being the person who must make that decision for another fellow traveler in this life with me. It is a heavy burden. BUT, I can accept that heavy weight if I see her suffering beyond what is acceptable. It is a gift I can give her..I just wish our Society allowed for such a gift for me....that is a thought I have from time to time.
So as we start 2013 I am wondering what this year will bring? I am hopeful it will be a uneventful year, yet I know this might be Bella last year with me. I just will put that on the back burner and see what the year brings. No need to dwell on the negatives. I know last winter was a poor one for her and I knew this one was going to have issues,but once Spring and better weather arrives we will see how she does. If the Cortisone continues to help, then I will be happy for her. Hopefully by Summer I will be able to wash and fix my hair , that is my expectation for myself. If we both achieve our goals then it is all I can ask and expect. So this is my update on Bella...hope life is good for all our friends on the Vine in 2013.....
