Tuesday August 23, 2011
I am going to start this as a log or journal of sorts. I cannot bring myself to think in terms of it being an article or book or anything with an ending. I will write when the spirit moves me or the pain in my heart allows my fingers to work the keys.
This will be about My Bella and our travels through some tough times in her life and also in my life. We are bound to each other, in a symbiotic way that is hard to explain. One either "gets it" or not, there is no way for me to explain the connection, other than we walk a simpatico path together. Mankind has always had this intertwining of spirit and body with our dogs. Some of our companions are like good friends and can move on and others creep into the very fabric of our Being and somehow become part of our soul.
Dogs do not live long enough for us to live out our lives with one or two companions. I find I have had seven. Some were long time keepers and others passed by like a ’ shadow’, moving on, working our moments together like a fine fiddle, for good or bad , until our Karmic destiny is completed. Like with humans, the moment brings a spark of energy, a synaptic firing, we either win or lose in the moment. Dog, it appears to me, is a more generous entity than our human brethren and gives us more leeway to learn what they desperately want to share with us…,
Like humans, we both are working our way down and through our Karmic path. Sometimes together and other times we part and go on our separate journey, but we have left part of our spirit with each other. For bad or good, each learning is the lesson, destined to be learned by our intersection.
Sometimes it makes me sad that I cannot find that unconditional love in my brethren as easily as it is given to us by our canine companions. There is no two faced exchange. You either get a lick or bit. They respond to some pheromone that tells them you are a danger or a friend. I must say I still retain vestiges of that instinct. I have nurtured the instinct and learned from my fellow canine traveler. I pay attention to what makes the difference, in ascertaining, friend or foe. It is a valuable skill to nurture.
Today has been a difficult day. Maybe the stars are not aligned right, whatever it is , it has been a bitch.
Wednesday August 24,2011
Yesterday, my Vet Said the words I never wanted to hear and words I cannot accept. "Unless we can remove Bella’s pain, she will have to be put down. It is not fair to her to live the rest of her life crippled and it extreme pain."
It was a HOT, and muggy day, I was walking with my cane, [and I use the word walking loosely] as my other knee AND hip appear to have given up the ghost and said, "well fatso let’s try hauling your corpulent self around on one leg and hip", My depression had hit a low that I had not experienced in years. My Bella has not improved after taking her to a series of  Veterinarian , Vet. Chiropractors, acupuncturist, complete evaluation by 4 other Vets, two series of x-rays [one under sedation], house rest as much as anyone can "rest" a young vibrant Doberman.
AND as some of you know my BUNKO month is at hand, so I have to cook and entertain for 13 women, [and CLEAN the house] in two weeks from now.
Let’s see , what have I missed? Oh , a "Charlie Daniels Concert, planned and paid for several months ago, at the end of the week, on Friday in the Seattle area…"Yeppers", as my ol’friend Augur would say….oh, and a crew of yard maintenance men due on Monday next…to clean up the weed and ruin I have let the yard deteriorate into this summer. OH, last but not least…. I forgot! , get the money press out from the hidden place under the house.
PS...I managed to entertain at the Chas.Daniel Concert by falling over in my scooter...yes into the dog poo I was attempting to pick up...I did not need later to pick it up, as it was melded onto my white Capri's and top........Bella said," she was so sorry Mom, if I knew you were going to do that , I would have held it until it turned to cement".....
I was helped out of the bushes and pavement by a woman with one broken arm in a cast...she pulled the scooter off of me so I could crawl to the pavement and get up ...there was NO valet or male person to help out until I fell over and then 4 rent a cops , two men in Valet garb, AND a man with a Disclaimer and pen were there when she managed to get the electric scooter off my back.....whoRa!
End of Entry One